Dinner for Schmucks should be retitled “Steve Carell’s pay day.” I remember a time when this was the guy on campus. From his humble beginnings on The Daily Show, to his first big movie role in Bruce Almighty, the guy was going places. And while most absolutely adore him on The Office, I’m not one of those people. But, I walked into Dinner for Schmucks with hope, and in one ninety minute sitting, Carell took that hope and smashed it over the head with a hammer. But that’s not the films only problem.

Dinner for Schmucks centers around Tim Wagner, a low level analyst at a financial firm. When a fellow analyst is fired, he suddenly sees an opening on the seventh floor (gee, like I haven’t seen that a thousand times), and goes for it. Upon impressing the boss, he’s given one last task before getting the promotion, invite an idiot to a dinner so his colleagues can make fun of him. And so begins the rest of Dinner for Schmucks.

Let’s address actors for a second. This movie is chock full of funny people on their own merit. Paul Rudd for example. This guy, as far as I’m concerned, is the new Jim Carrey. The perfect blend of slap stick and sarcastic humor. But he’s so under used in this film, and to think, he’s the main protagonist. Throughout the movie it just feels like he’s trying to recapture the magic he pulls off in movies like 40 Year Old Virgin and Role Models. But because he’s limited to the unfortunate PG-13, all he can do is the slap stick, and except for one moment involving him crawling on the floor because of a bad back, all his jokes fall flat.

Now, if my ranting wasn’t enough in the opening paragraph, I hated Carell in this movie. I hated the insipid idiocy of his character. I hated the way we walked. I hated the way he talked. I hated that he took nothing seriously. I hated his god damn mice. I hated everything. It felt like he was trying to do a live action Homer Simpson with waaaay less funny jokes and no redeemable charm. If it wasn’t for the fact that I refuse to review a film without seeing it all the way through, I would’ve walked out.

As for the rest of the supporting cast, they suck too. The only glimmer of hope in the in this sea of despair was Larry Wilmore (ironically, another Daily Show vet). I actually laughed at some of his jokes, but they were far from anything that would make up for the rest of the film. The fact is, I hate this kind of humor. The sarcastic, dry, pointless humor… Actually, humor is the wrong word. The word is idiocy. I hate idiocy. Every single character is a moron, and I don’t care if that was the point or not, it’s still annoying, and painful to watch.

Now even though this is a comedy, and I know I shouldn’t be putting too much thought into the camera work, would it have killed the cinematographer to frame a shot correctly. Every frame, someone’s head is cut off at the wrong place. It became a real visual distraction and just served to further pull me out of the film.

As for Jay Roach’s direction, I was surprised how poor it was. This is a guy who made one of my favorite TV flicks ever (Recount). And directed one of the funniest films of the last decade (Meet The Parents). This film is such a step down for the man. I was so disappointed. I saw no passion in the film and no sense of anyone giving a damn.

I really have nothing else to say about this mess of a film. The fact is, a comedys number one job is to make me laugh. And this film did not do that. I sat their quietly in the theater and watched every joke fall flat. I say, avoid Dinner for Schmucks at all costs, because it’s not worth your hard earned cash.

3/10

Between the late nineties and early two thousands, the action/thriller genre hit a major stride with films such as The Rock, The Negotiator, The Recruit, Cellular, Phone Booth and Enemy of The State. While SALT isn’t nearly as good as those films, it definitely captures the essence of what made those films great.

When CIA agent Evelyn Salt is accused of being a double agent, she goes on the run to clear her name, all while trying to stop the assassination of the Russian President.

I want to start with the writing of this film. It comes to us from Kurt Wimmer (who gave us The Recruit from the list above). Now, while Wimmer isn’t a well known name, I am willing to bet you like at least one of his films. Between Law Abiding Citizen, The Thomas Crown Affair, Equilibrium and Street Kings (you heard me), the man knows his way around a well made thriller, and this is no different. SALT’s twists are blatant; this is not unusual for him, there is no denying or hiding that fact. You know the twist fifteen minutes into the first act, but who cares? I sure didn’t.

Then there’s the director. Phillip Noyce is probably best known for his directorial work on the two Jack Ryan films starring Harrison Ford, Clear and Present Danger and Patriot Games. Both were solid 80’s action/thrillers in their own right. So the man knows the genre. And while SALT has elements of Jack Ryan, Mission Impossible, Bourne and James Bond, it’s still fun to watch Evelyn kick ass and take names.

Speaking of Salt, Angelina Jolie is a bad ass. I’m a little sad that she spreads her actioners out so far apart, because between this, Wanted and Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I want to see her in an action film every year. Forget Tom Cruise (who this film was originally created for), forget Matt Damon, forget Daniel Craig, it’s all about Jolie. She is the quintessential female bad-a… Yah know what, screw the female part, she is right up there with Cruise, Damon, Craig, and the rest of the boys. Just a straight up bad-ass, and I couldn’t enjoy it more.

Now, this film does best in the action part of that action/thriller. Every action scene is better than the one that comes before it, all leading up to Salt’s final showdown. Excellent pace by Noyce, excellent agility and grace displayed by Jolie and (assuming they stuck to the script) excellent location choices from Wimmer. The thriller part is sort of there, but sort of isn’t. That’s just something you need to accept going in, but it still falls within the genre… Barely.

This movie is like a well oiled machine. It’s definitely not for that niche crowd. It’s for the main stream crowd, the crowd that isn’t that into Nolan’s latest mind bender or Wright’s latest comedic craft. No this crowd likes it straight and to the point. And that’s what you get with SALT, and you get it well. If you can get over the obvious plot twist, and the not completely closed story (hopefully for a sequel), then you’ll enjoy the latest entry into the action/thriller genre.

8/10

Let me start off by saying, screw you Christopher Nolan! Screw you, for making me gain an appreciation for the world around me! Screw you, for making me realize how awesome the world is when there’s nothing distracting you from it! Screw you, for making a wonderfully crafted film! Moving on though, let me answer some of the questions I know you have…  Is Inception a work of creative genius? Yes. Is Inception a nonstop thrill ride? Yes. Is Inception proof that big budget Hollywood can make good movies? Yes. Is Inception a completely original idea in a sea of sequels and remakes? No.

I’m not even going to bother going over the plot of Inception because that’s something I think you should experience for yourself.

So moving from there, lets start with the performances. Almost everyone brings their A game to this movie. Leonardo DiCaprio channels some scary guy from deep within him to create his Cobb character. It was rather stunning actually. I liked his role in Shutter Island, but I loved his role here. It was heart pounding. Ellen Page also really delivered where I thought she would fall flat on her face. She is the key to everything Cobb does, she is what separates Cobb from success and failure, and she pulled it off with amazing grace. Joseph Gordon-Levitt brings an amazing charisma to the film that only he could pull off. Tom Hardy is as close as you could come to any form of comic relief in this movie, but at the same time he delivers on the “ultimate bad-ass” role quite well. My only real acting issue is with Marion Cotillard. It felt like she couldn’t do anything on her own. That the only reason I can stand to watch her on screen is because she can play of the amazing presence of DiCaprio. But to avoid spoilers I will stop there.

On to the story of the film. This is kind of hard to talk about, as to avoid those pesky spoilers, so let me say these few basic things. The story of Inception IS NOT original. We have seen this done before. We see it in films like Dreamscape and The Matrix. Some of it’s ideals are in films such as Dogma and A.I. The way the first act unfolds screams Mission Impossible. But I didn’t care. It was still able to craft an interesting plot out of everything it takes from others. That said though, I can’t ignore that those elements make the film not original. A small fact, but a fact none the less.

Inception also takes a lot of pacing elements from other films. Every single action sequence feels like it’s out of a Bond film, specifically, Casino Royale. The film just screams Campbell in those sequences. They were cut like the South Africa chase sequence in Casino. Not the slow cuts that Nolan used in The Dark Knight, the cuts that really portray his style, an interesting creative move to say the least. Also, it’s amazing how similar this film is to DiCaprio’s other mind bender of the year, Shutter Island. Now, I felt much more moved by this film than I did after Shutter Island, but both films hit very similar beats. Beats I can’t talk about because of those darn spoilers.

Technically, the film is absolutely tremendous. There are some very odd sound mixing issues though. To put them into perspective, what Scorsese did with color in Shutter Island, Nolan does with sound in Inception. The score is also brilliant. This is one your going to want to have on your iPod all the time. Also, Nolan’s tenacity to do so much in camera really pays off. Especially in the money shots you see in the trailer of the floating bodies and the rotating room, classic Hollywood effects that really went a long way to the world building of the film.

Final thoughts? Inception is a beautiful film, with some familiar elements behind it. It may not be a 100% original idea, but it’s still a display of genius from a true creative master. A master of the art. A master of the mind. A master… of anything. Inception sucks you in and never lets go. It’s a must see.

9/10

Aliens vs Predator, Aliens vs Predator: Requiem, Terminator 3, Terminator Salvation… All these films have one thing in common. They were all attempts to restart a dated franchise while at the same time not doing a flat out reboot. The difference between all of those films and Predators is that Predators, is the only one to succeed at it.

Producer Robert Rodriguez made sure this film is the true sequel to the 1987 classic, going so far as to reference the events of the original film to establish true continuity. The films plot is very simple (as it should be). A group of killers (and one doctor) are dropped into a remote jungle only to realize they are not on a remote jungle, but rather a remote planet. Then, the hunting begins.

In case you’re wondering, yes, this film takes the franchise back to its gritty roots. It’s full of the wonderfully dark imagery that made the original so memorable. The film is also chock full of some great characters, most notably Adrien Brody of course. The dude just sweats the essence of Schwarzenegger. Despite not having the bruiting size of Schwarzenegger, he sure as hell has the attitude. The same goes for all of the other characters (yes, even Topher Grace), they are all gritty and pissed, just as they should be.

The environments and set design is also beautifully dark. The forest is bloody green, the sun never really brightens up the place, the night is freaky, it’s just what a Predator film should be. The same goes for the cinematography. Quick, clean, yet dirty and jagged at the same time, perfectly reflecting the tone of the world.

I also loved the mythology the film invented for the Predator species. The idea of a blood feud between two rival clans is such a brilliant idea for the franchise. The possibilities are endless to what you could do. Maybe one clan decides to help the humans to spite the other clan. It is such a great idea to think about. O, and where else are going to see a Predator battle with a Samurai Sword?

But of course, a film like this isn’t without a few glitches, most notably in line delivery. Now, I know that I shouldn’t be expecting much, and yes I did appreciate the fact that movie felt like the 80’s film but, that doesn’t mean the actors have to speak like they’re in the 80’s. The films is set in 2010, talk like you’re in 2010. Also, I would have liked a much more conclusive ending. The ending of this film is clearly setting up a sequel. Just once I want a film in a franchise to conclusively end, then see where it can go from there.

Overall, Predators is a quite enjoyable film. A slow burn in the first act but then it just takes off. I really hope we get to see more from the Rodriguez/Antal duo. They really make a great team in their creativity. This film should act as a benchmark from here on out of how to restart an old franchise (without doing a flat out reboot of course, Batman and Bond already have the market on that one).

7.5/10

If you’re five years old then you’ll love The Last Airbender… But I’m not five years old. Perhaps Airbender’s biggest problem is that it doesn’t understand the idea of an adaptation. It’s one thing to take out items from the source material because it doesn’t fit in the realm of a film, but it’s another thing entirely to do it so you can fit a 100 minute run time.

Based on the wildly popular animated TV series Avatar: The Last Airbender, the film follows the journey of a young boy named Aang. The last of the Air Nomads or airbenders, and he’s the current avatar. The avatar has the power to control all four natural elements. Earth, fire, water, and air. But, the avatar has been absent for over 100 years, and in that time, the Fire Nation has declared war on the rest of the world. Now the fate of the world is in Aang’s hands, as he is the only one who can stop the Fire Nation and bring balance to the other nations.

Now, I don’t expect Airbender to put everything from the first season of the show into this film, but I do expect the basics, the basic back story of Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Zuko. But there is none of that, it’s not even that there is no room for it; there is plenty of time to cover these basics facts. Facts that were covered in the first season. Facts like Katara’s healing ability and the plot line surrounding Sozin’s Comet which gets nothing more than a quick mention at the end of the film.

But, I could spend an eternity picking away at the horribly paced story, lets talk acting for a second. Now, I was not one of the protesters at the whole race bending thing, but regardless of who you cast, they should be able to do this thing called ACT! M. Night said that he wanted to do away with a lot of the kiddy stuff from the show. But by doing that, you turn the lovable and a little bit zany story of Aang into a depressing mess. By not allowing the characters to be zany, you limit their range greatly because in all honesty, there is no charm to behold when there are no jokes.

This brings me to an even greater point, the writing. Night should NOT have written this film. His writing does not lend itself to witty humor and story. His style is to dark, depressing, and twisty for a project like this. It would have been one thing for him to go the Kevin Smith, Cop Out route and just direct the film, but he didn’t. The story and dialogue are awful.

Then there is the editing and pacing. I can’t even say the story is all over the place, because there never is a sense of place to begin with. In what I can only assume is a time frame of a week, the gang is able to travel across the world on a flying Bison (which is never discussed either, I only know about it because I watched the show). Then magically Sokka and the Northern Water Tribe Princess develop a relationship in the time it takes to fade to the next scene. Which would be fine except that Katara in voice over narration (which was also pointless) says they were at the kingdom for weeks. What kind of half assed editing trick is that? The entire movie becomes a muddled mess, and it really is a shame.

Going into the visuals, arguably the only semi-decent thing about the film, there’s just one problem, they’re boring. Anytime there is a decent fight involving the benders, it becomes bogged down by lazy editing and poor pacing. Also, I don’t understand why Night felt a need to go the McG, Terminator Salvation route and overuse the long take technique. The fact of the matter is, long takes do not lend themselves to action. That’s just the way it is, the way the action is cut in this movie just doesn’t work.

As for the cinematography, it’s OK. The landscapes are pretty and do lend themselves to the world that the film has built. But to be honest, by today’s standards, they could be a lot better. And a decent landscape is far from an excuse for every other horrible aspect of the film.

I would love to go on and on about how much this film fails, but there’s no point. Why should I exert more effort than the film itself. I will leave you with this, Airbender is a film that your five year old will enjoy. But fans of the original TV series, and average movie goers are going to feel very cheated.

2/10

Take the essence of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, combine it with your standard boy meets girl story, add a dash of Mission Impossible and you have Knight & Day. It may not be nearly as clever as Mr. and Mrs. Smith but, it does have that same charm… Sort of. But for the record, no movie is this quirky by accident so, as long as they were going for that, this the film isn’t a failure.

When June is heading home on a flight to Boston, she bumps into a strange man that immediately takes a liking to her. It doesn’t take long for her to realize that the man is not who she thinks he is. The real question is, was it his really odd sense of humor, orrrr the fact that he took out an entire plane full of armed agents…

I’d like to take a moment to talk about Cruise’s performance. He is \charming in this film, but he is essentially just playing Ethan Hunt with a much more laid back attitude about life. Roy Miller is your standard spy/ladies man. But regardless of how cookie cutter he is, it’s still nice to watch Cruise do his  thing. And like Les Gorssman, it is clear he is enjoying himself and not taking the role too seriously.

As for Cameron Diaz, well, she’s just playing Cameron Diaz. I did like the set up they give to her character which helps explain away the reasons why she is able to do what she does in the third act but, that doesn’t come without a bit of wtf…

Now, as I said in the beginning, if the quirkiness of the film was done on purpose and was in fact written into the script, then the film works, if not, then they failed on every level to make a Mr. and Mrs. Smith knock-off. But, I have trouble believing that a film is this quirky and clunky by accident. That said, the action is OK. I say OK and not good because like the film, it too has some pacing issues. The story it self is standard, but charming none the less.

Overall, Knight & Day works for the most part. It is a charming film that needs some work. A real date crowd pleaser. If you go into this expecting nothing more than some fairly written quips and OK action, they you will be pleased.

6.5/10

In 1995 I was six years old and, Pixar put out its first feature film. Toy Story was a roller coaster ride of emotion that gave my six year old self a run for its money. Toy Story 2 in 1999 did the same thing. But, it always felt like there was just a bit more of the story that had yet to be told. Well, the end of the story is here. Toy Story 3 is the same roller coaster ride of emotion that not only works on the five year old level but, is also the most emotionally stimulating film I have seen in years.

We rejoin the toys ten years after the second film. Andy has grown up and is heading off to college. Most of the toys have survived the trip, only one of the main toys is not in this film but, it is not the worst thing in the world. The toys have been dealing with neglect for years since Andy is too old to play with them. This feeling of neglect  is what starts the film’s adventure.

The first thing I need to address is how well the film handles all the emotions that occur throughout the runtime. They all flow very naturally and by the end, the tears were flowing from my face. We see everything from neglect, to happiness, to sadness, to abandonment, to unprecedented joy, to anger, to relief, to terror, to sadness and so on. My inner child and my adult self were effected both equally and greatly by the amazing story telling in the film.

Which brings me to the story itself. All the characters, even the new ones, are all developed beautifully. The opening scene does an excellent job of reintroducing the characters without acting as if we have never heard of them before. The new characters do not feel forced at all and really help to push the story.

Now, as for the ending, without giving anything away I can say that it really closes the book on the toys. Everything comes full circle and we are finally left with a real sense of closure unlike what we had at the end of Toy Story 2. This is also some of the best character acting in any film (live action or animated) this year. The relationship between Woody and Buzz is stronger than ever and we also see some very natural love interests. All the toys are back in full force in the best possible way.

Visually the film is beautiful. Now, I saw my showing in 2D but, don’t worry, that doesn’t change a thing. While you can see certain scenes where the 3D effect can be utilized, like AVATAR, it doesn’t take away from the film as a whole. The world that’s set up is still as colorful and lively as ever and, when the toys are in true peril the world’s look helps to really get it across.

I don’t think there was a question in anyone’s mind as to whether or not Toy Story 3 would be good. No, the question was how good? The answer isn’t good… It’s great. This is a perfect film. There is NOTHING negative I can say about it. It’s film making that will stand the test of time. It was nice to have one final ride with the toys and, here’s hoping the rest of their existence is just a joyful as it was at the start of Toy Story.

10/10

The first fifteen minutes of the newest festival to theatrical release film, Cyrus is some of the clunkiest, boring, cheesy, un-original film making I have ever seen. But once the title character played by Jonah Hill is introduced, the film does a complete 180 and becomes quite enjoyable.

Cyrus follows the ups and downs of the new found love between John and Molly. The only problem is that Molly has a very inappropriate relationship with her son Cyrus. Cyrus is also very uncomfortable with John dating his mom and will do anything to sabotage their relationship.

The best parts of the film are the actors them selves. I say that because the film is far from visually stimulating. Actually, the cinematography is quite dull. Thankfully, Cyrus relies on witty dialogue and good story telling to keep the audience interested.

If I could some up the character of John, played by John C. Reilly, it’s the father role that Richard Jenkins played in Reilly’s Step Brothers. He is the straight man of the film. Occasionally bringing his wacky attitude that we saw in Step Brothers. Overall, his character is OK, but far from the real story of the film.

The real story of the film lies in the relationship between Cyrus and Molly. Jonah Hill plays a much more socially awkward version of the character he always plays. He definitely shows potential to stretch beyond his type cast, but he does let it creep in from time to time with lines like “dude, don’t f**k my mom.” As for Molly played by Marisa Tomei, she continues hew rise back into the spotlight with this film. Her character walks a fine line between free-thought hippie and regular functioning member of society.

Is Cyrus a funny film? Yes. Is it well written? Depends on who you ask. Is it well shot/directed? Not really. Are the actors fun to watch? For the most part. Overall, Cyrus is worth a matinee showing at the theater. It might even make a good date movie but, don’t expect the non stop laughter you might expect from these actors in any other films.

7/10

I’ll be the first to tell you that Smokin’ Aces is one of the worst films ever made. When I was going into The A-Team I was expecting more of the same from Joe Carnahan, really poorly paced action without a single moment of redemption. I sit here now, after seeing the film and, I can say without a doubt, The A-Team is the best time I have had at the movies all year.

After being accused of a crime they didn’t commit, John “Hannibal” Smith, Templeton “Faceman” Peck, B.A. “Bad Attitude” Baracus, and H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock are sentenced to ten years in prison. After promptly making their escape, with the help of the CIA, they go on a mission to find the man that ruined them, and clear their names.

The first thing anyone will notice about this film is the characters. Now, I haven’t seen any episodes of the original series but, I really want to now. If the characters in the TV show are anything like what I saw here, then the show was really ahead of its time. In the first fifteen minutes, the team is formed for the first time, and we get the biggest action sequence of the year, well at least until the next action sequence begins after that. The best moments of the film come when the team is together. Whether they are falling out of a plane in a tank, or chilling at the army base, the dialogue between these men is absolutely amazing.

Now, as for the matter of the direction and cinematography, this film won’t win any CG awards but, the suspension of disbelief works, especially during the big action sequences. Carnahan’s directing is top notch here. It really feels like he understands these characters and known how to use his actors to the film’s advantage. Considering he also had a hand in the script, it’s clear he knows how to write a story that will keep the audience extremely entertained, much to my surprise after the horribly written Smokin’ Aces.

As for the movie’s entertainment value as a whole, it gets a ten. I was laughing all the way through at the absolute absurdity of the film, and yes, that is a compliment. The film is fully self aware and ends up coming completely out of left field as one of the best films of the year.

Now, all this praise doesn’t come without some minor criticism, most of which falls on the villains of the film. The problem is their intentions are never fully known and get very convoluted at times. Thankfully, because the characters of The A-Team itself are so good, I barely noticed.

If I could compare this film to anything, I would cite The Losers which came out earlier this year. The plots are nearly identical. Both teams are falsely accused of a crime and on the run. Both teams have great chemistry, both films have a really whacked out villain, both have great action but, the one thing The A-Team has, that The Losers did not, was story. Now, I love The Losers. I thought it was one of the better films this year but, there is a slow burn plot in The A-Team that allows the film to completely earn its final fight, which ironically, occurs in the same type of location that The Losers final fight did. O, and did I mention that The A-Team has much bigger booms?

Overall, The A-Team is a must see. I will be hard pressed to find a film that can match the level of flat out fun I experienced while watching this. This is summer movie making, hell it’s movie making at its finest. Here’s hoping this film does well enough (which it will) to get a sequel.

9/10

TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: Justified
Airs: FX, Tuesdays, 10pm
Episode: Season 1 Finale

Great, compelling, creepy, a modern day Deadwood, are all good ways to describe the first season of the new FX series Justified. But, none of them really just get to the heart of what Justified is, damn good TV writing.

Read the rest at FatGuysAtTheMovies.com

TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: Glee
Airs: FOX, Tuesdays, 9pm
Episode: Season 1 Finale

Every TV season brings new ideas and fresh characters to the table. Sometimes, those ideas work out in a way that no one expects. This season, that idea came in the form of a one hour musical/comedy show called Glee.

Read the rest at FatGuysAtTheMovies.com

TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: Persons Unknown
Airs: NBC, Mondays, 10pm
Episode: Premiere

One of the great things about mini-series’ is that you can get into the story and not worry about the show being canceled or worry about not knowing answers. With that said, I say now, Persons Unknown might end up being the surprise hit of the summer.

Read the rest at FatGuysAtTheMovies.com

TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: Flashpoint
Airs: CBS, Fridays, 10pm
Episode: Season Three Premiere

Throughout the years, many studios have been looking for ways to cut costs. One way they discovered was to share production costs between two studios. That’s exactly what American CBS and Canadian CTV did when they came up with one of the best cop dramas ever conceived (surprisingly, for the summer). The show is Flashpoint, which has begun its third year in the United States (season three has already aired in Canada).

Read the rest at FatGuysAtTheMovies.com

TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: Burn Notice
Airs: USA, Thursdays, 9pm
Episodes: Season Four Premiere

When we last left our favorite burned spy Michael Weston, he was locked in a room with no knowledge of where he is and, what he’s doing there. We rejoin him in the exact same place at the start of the fourth season of Burn Notice. He begins to go on his usual narration about the room, the people he is dealing with, etc… Then enters a man that will simply be known as Vaughn, Vaughn works for management which leads us right into the “twist.” I won’t say what it is, but it does shed light on the whole “Management” thing.

Read the rest at FatGuysAtTheMovies.com

TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: Royal Pains
Airs: USA, Thursdays, 10pm
Episodes: Season Two Premiere

Last year, USA gave us a show that I like to call, House lite. The show is actually called Royal Pains. It revolves around the character of Hank Lawson who, after being fired from his position as an ER doctor in New York City, is dragged out to the Long Island haven, The Hamptons. There he is thrust into a new position, concierge doctor for The Hamptons.

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Ever since the nineties, Hollywood has tried many times to make a good video game adaptation. The main problem was that no one really understood the source material for any of these adaptations, at least, until now. Prince of Persia: The Sand of Time, based on the highly popular video game of the same name, is the first one to really work. While it may have its flaws, Prince of Persia: The Sand of Time has set a standard for how these films are made properly.

The first big difference in this VGF (video game film) is the fact that the people making the film treated it like a book adaptation. Certain things need to be changed for film. This is where others in the genre have fallen short. Bloodrayne, Mortal Kombat, Hitman, they didn’t understand that not everything is meant for the big screen. Imagine how different Tomb Raider would have been if they didn’t try to hold so true to the game.

It also helps that the game maker actually had some say in the film. Game creator Jordan Mechner crafted the story for the film, saying “rather than do a straight beat-for-beat adaptation of the new video game, we’re taking some cool elements from the game and using them to craft a new story.” That is what these adaptations needed.

Not to mention the fact that there is actual talent not only in front of the camera (Tomb Raider) but finally there is also talent behind it. Jerry Bruckheimer brings his grand scale, decision maker attitude to this project. Whenever his name is attached to anything, you know it’s going to be epic. Then there is director Mike Newell. Newell is an extremely talented film maker whose credits include Donnie Brasco and Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. These two forces finally bring a type of movie making the video game adaptation just hasn’t seen.

Now that we got all the paper work out of the way, let’s take a look at the story. Prince of Persia: The Sand of Time follows the journey of Prince Dastan who, after invading an “enemy” city, finds a dagger. He soon discovers, thanks to Princess Tamina, that the dagger has the ability to turn back time with the sand that is locked inside it. Now, while there are certain scenes pulled directly from the game, these sections are few and far between. 95% of the film is original. It remains grounded in the rule of film making. It never tries to go over-the-top and because of that, it remains believable in the realm of fantasy.

Perhaps its biggest flaw is the actors themselves. Not in the characters they play, but rather the way they play them. Unfortunately, they all sound under rehearsed. None of the lines they say sound interesting, they all just sound like robots. It’s a bit of a shame because the lines themselves are very well written.

But that is probably the only problem with the film. The action scenes are wonderfully choreographed and, this film rivals District B-13 for the best use of parkour on film. The same goes for the films art direction. The sets are absolutely beautiful, and the vastness of the desert is extraordinary. This film is the definition of summer epic.

Overall, Prince of Persia: The Sand of Time works, and works well. Despite the spotty dialogue, the film manages to keep the audience interested the entire time. You want to follow Dasdan on his journey, from start to finish. Here’s hoping that Disney decides to follow through with the other two games in the trilogy because, they have found their next Pirates.

7.5/10

TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: FlashForward
Airs: ABC, Thursdays, 8pm
Episodes: Season/Series Finale

When the 2009-2010 TV season began, the big question over at ABC was, what show will be the new LOST? It came down to two, V and FlashForward. It’s a shame that V ended up with the LOST lead in, because, FlashForward is without a doubt, the better show. It proved that no better than in the season/series finale of season one.

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TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: Criminal Minds
Airs: CBS, Wednesdays, 9pm
Episodes: Season Five Finale

While it may be your run-of-the-mill police procedural, Criminal Minds does add a dark twist to the formula. One of the best things about the show has always been its season finales. The most recent one, was no different.

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TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: Parenthood
Airs: NBC, Tuesdays, 10pm
Episodes: Season One Finale

Every TV season has its stand out new show. In 2001 it was 24. In 2004 it was LOST. But the stand out 2009-2010 series didn’t come in the form of a hardcore serial drama, no, the stand out came in the form of a dramedy. That dramedy is Parenthood, the story of a very large family working through all walks of life. From the standard nuclear family, to the single mom, to the stay at home dad, to the single dad with long lost son, to the grandparents dealing with the issues of their now grown up children, it is all here.

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TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: NCIS
Airs: CBS, Tuesdays, 8pm
Episodes: Season Seven Finale

Normally I like to talk in great detail about these season finales. But I am afraid I can’t do that for the season finale of this season of the #1 rated scripted show on television, NCIS. The reason for this is because the finale was awful. What makes NCIS great is its characters. They can pull off everything from comedy to cold hearted killer, and make it work. But in this episode, they did nothing.

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NOTE: This article contains spoilers after the first paragraph.

This season of Chuck took its title character to a place we have wanted to see him go for a while, the real spy world. This season was all about Chuck becoming the person he was always meant to be. The ending of this season, was Chuck’s final test if you will, and the final moments prove the suspicion we all already had.

When we last left Chuck we learned that his father had developed a way to control the intersect and keep it from “over heating” Chuck’s brain. We have also been confirmed in Chuck’s suspicion that Shaw is still alive. The last episode also left Ellie in a “CIA” base with her “handler.” When this episode begins everything is the same except that Chuck has spotted Shaw. Finally, Shaw’s face is seen for the first time in weeks. Everything is confirmed and so begins the build up to their final confrontation.

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TV review by Merrill Barr, co-host of The Idiot Boxers

Show: 24
Airs: FOX, Mondays, 9pm (finale on Monday, 8pm)
Episodes: Series Finale

NOTE: This article contains spoilers after the second paragraph.

Through its years on the air waves, 24 has provided us with ultimate Shakespearian tragedy. Jack Bauer is, above all else, a tortured soul. Everything he loves, everything he cares for, everything he fights for, seems to come to a tragic end. The idea of patriotism is all he has, and all he will ever have. He can’t have love, so instead he takes solace in the knowledge that he will fight till the end, for us.

After nine years of presidential treason, nukes, poison gas, EMPs, and countless unnamed dead terrorists, it all came to an end with the final two hours of the ground breaking series, and boy, what a finale it was. First off, the finale takes a second to reminds us why the show is the revolutionary it is, because, for one last time, we hear Kiefer’s voice say “events occur in real time” right before we start on the epic finale.

…

In 2001, America suffered one of the worst tragedies in it’s over 200 year history. After words, we were vulnerable, scared, and needed a new hero. That hero came in the form of an unapologetic, ruthless soldier that would fight for everything we stand for, no matter what the cost. That hero, was Jack Bauer. A real life Superman, he is everything we needed in our darkest hour. 24 not only revolutionized the look of TV, it changed the way we defined it, and the characters it creates… Forever.

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Show: The Good Guys
Airs: FOX, Wednesdays, 8/7pm
Episodes: Pilot

Done in the style of classic 80’s buddy cop shows such as Miami Vice and Starsky and Hutch, The Good Guys attempts to revive the genre that has been bogged down for far too long with the dark and gritty tone of every other procedural in existence.

The Good Guys stars Bradley Whitford and Colin Hanks (yes, Tom Hanks’ son) as two partners who have nothing in common. Whitford is a dead beat who is still on the force for something he did twenty five years ago and Hanks is the hot shot new up in comer with an attitude. The two of them fit the formula perfectly for dysfunctional buddy cop duo.

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Show: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Airs: ABC, Wednesdays, 10/9pm
Episodes: Season Eleven Finale

There is a reason why Law and Order: Special Victims Unit is one of NBC’s highest rated programs and the most critically acclaimed of the franchise, because it has character. The characters in SVU are all amazing, even the one episode criminals hold water. One of the great things is, you can judge a show like SVU episode to episode. There are no stories that carry over from episode to episode so each one stands alone. Without a doubt, the finale of season eleven was not only one of the best finales in years, but it was also one of the best episodes.

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Show: V
Airs: ABC, Tuesdays, 10pm
Episodes: Season One Finale

ABC’s attempt to revamp the 80’s miniseries that was V, turned into a mess of a series. With horribly one note characters, acting on par with an Uwe Boll movie, and CG that would make the original Tron look like AVATAR, V just misses the mark through and through. The finale was no different.

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Show: House
Airs: FOX, Mondays, 8pm
Episodes: Season Six Finale

This season of House has been one heck of a ride. We started the season with House finally beating his addiction, and we have watched as he has begun the transformation into a decent (or as close as he can get) human being. He moves in with Wilson, he is trying to make a lasting relationship with his co-workers, and he has finally begun to pursue his hidden love for Cuddy. That all changed by the final minutes of season 6.

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Iron Man 2 is the definition of the summer blockbuster and is the perfect way to kick the season off. Action, explosions, charm, humor; all of these things are present. Iron man 2 took everything we loved about the first film and magnified it. The problem is that some of these things should have just been left alone (besides Terrence Howard).

Iron Man 2 takes place 6 months after the events of Iron Man. Tony Stark has been on a one man crusade to keep America at peace, and so far it’s working. The problem is that the U.S. government is starting to take notice at his blatant disregard for responsibility. That coupled with the fact that rival countries are continually trying to copy Stark’s designs, leads the U.S. Congress, as well as the military to force Stark to hand over the Iron Man “weapon.”

The first thing anyone is going to wonder about this film compared to the first is the status of Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. The answer is that he hasn’t changed, for the most part. He is still a philandering playboy with billions of dollars. The difference now is that he has something to lose. His girl, his life, his sanity, they are all at risk now. They are all at risk because he has blurred the line in his head between himself and Iron Man. This is where Downey’s years of method acting come into play. He plays it off without a hitch and remains watchable throughout the film.

Something that is missing for the worse is the lovely banter that goes on between Tony, his automated butler Jarvis, and the robots in his lab. There is only a minor hint of that when we first see Tony in his lab and, the character of JARVIS is reduced to 5 lines of dialogue in the entire film. These things were crucial to show how Tony is more comfortable in a relationship with his robots than people and with their absence; the film loses some of its charm.

On the opposite end of that coin in Mickey Rourke who plays the films villain Whip Lash. Let me say first off, Rourke nails the creep factor. He also nails the psychotic genius factor as well. Except for a really laughable opening scene, he is very cool to watch. It is a shame he disappears for the majority of the second act.

Unfortunately, a lot of the side characters fall by the wayside, Pepper Potts now solely exists to torture Tony’s heart (metaphorically of course). Happy Hogan (played by the film’s director Jon Favreau) does have more of a role, but unless they are planning on ever exploring the relationship between Pepper and Happy in the comics, than he didn’t need any more screen time. The films secondary antagonist, Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) is probably the worst character to watch. He is nothing more than a watered down Stark, and not in a good way. Whenever he is on screen, I count the minutes till he is gone. Another problem is Scarlett Johansson. Like the rest of the film she is great to look at but, except for an awesome scene in the third act, she is pretty much useless.

Tony’s long time friend Rhoddy does serve a major role in the film, as we see the birth of War Machine, but his awesome moments are few and far between. Not to mention that the things he is capable of doing make no sense when the events of the first film are taken into consideration. We do get to see a bit more of Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) in this film, but not as much as we would like. He doesn’t even show up until the start of the second act and, only serves to set up the next film in Marvel’s line.

Which brings me to my next point, the entire second act of this film is really oddly paced. The problem is that Marvel is trying really hard to tie Thor, Captain America, and Fury together in this film to set up what is to come over the next 2 years. Unfortunately, by doing that, they lose sight of the Iron man story. There are very clear moments that were forced into the script. Things like a prop cameo and very cryptic location references such as New Mexico. There is also a minor problem with the pacing of the overall film that isn’t as bad as what is in act 2. It is very clear that certain moments that were in the trailer are now missing. Things key to the character relationships. Most likely, these things were cut for time but, I would have preferred if they just lost all the random Avenger cameos instead.

As for the visual of the film, it’s just like the first. Very glossy, like a new car in Tony’s lab. Favreau has a clear vision, and his executes that vision very nicely. He is still a young film maker and grows with each and every film he makes. As expected, the CGI is excellent and makes for a very shiny film. But like I said, these are to be expected from a film of this magnitude.

Over all, Iron Man 2 is not as good as Iron Man but, does hold water. While it needed work, it was very clear that film is meant to serve as set up for the rest of the Avengers. I have a feeling we will get to see a much more compelling side of Tony Stark come 2012.

7.5/10

Though flawed and, at times idiotic, there is one big difference between A Nightmare on Elm Street and every other Platinum Dunes remake. The people behind Nightmare actually gave a damn about the property they were remaking. A Nightmare on Elm Street is not the Hostel knock off that was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and it wasn’t the XXX porno that was Friday The 13th. Nightmare on Elm Street contains zero nudity and just the right amount of gore to be called a slasher film by today’s standards.

For those uninitiated, Nightmare on Elm Street centers around the children of, well, Elm Street. They are being haunted by mass murder Freddy Kruger who has the power to kill them in their dreams. That’s about it. This new Nightmare take cues the Pycho play book where we follow one of the characters for the entire first act and then, you can guess what happens from there.

As for the acting in the film, it’s alright. Well alright for everyone except Jackie Earl Haley who plays the dream walking psychopath. I must say, I enjoy watching Haleys Freddy do his thing a lot more than I ever did watching Robert Englund’s so familiar take on the character. Haley’s character is much more realistic and not as goofy (yes even compared to the “serious” original film). Haley’s Freddy is also much more believable as both a burn victim and a once upon a time human being. Now, there will be those purist who will be very angry over a certain change made to why Freddy was killed by the parents of Elm Street but for a film of this type made today, it works.

As for the rest of the cast,  there are some fairly good performances from the updated Nancy played by Roony Mara and the jock boy friend played by Sarah Connor alumni Thomas Dekker. As to avoid spoilers, I won’t say much more beyond that. The rest of the cast which doesn’t include a single recognizable name, the acting is ok. Nothing special but it works for a horror remake of today.

Now as for the directing, cinematography, sound design, essentially all the things that make horror, horror. It’s all surprising excellent. First time director Samuel Bayer has a clear vision for what he wants and it works. The best scenes are the ones that occur in Freddy’s dream world. The sound design is amazing. You actually cringe when you hear Freddy’s knives scrape against anything metal. The colors are all very defined and the light is just as creepy as one would hope.

Now as amazing as the technical aspects of the film are, there is no escaping the terrible logic of the film. Apparently not a single police officer has heard of video play back or blood spatter analysis. But in all honesty, the logic of this film by today’s standards is not that much more unrealistic than the logic portrayed in the 80’s classic by that times standards.

Over all, the Nightmare on Elm Street remake is a solid addition to the vast array of horror remakes. On the level of The Crazies remake of this year and certainly better than the abysmal Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw remakes. If you want to see a Freddy who is cunning and much creepier than the original than this is a film to go see in theaters.

6.5/10

The Losers is a film that sets out to achieve one goal, entertain, and boy does it deliver. The direction is top notch, the visuals are vibrant, the acting is right where it needs to be, the story is just as goofy as expected, and the action is just as over the top as you might hope it would be.

For those uninitiated, the film follows the journey of an elite team of Special Forces soldiers named The Losers. When the team witnesses something they shouldn’t of, they are framed and then declared dead. To get their lives back they have no choice but to embark on one final mission to clear their names.

Of course the first thing anyone will be looking for in a film like this is top notch action and comedy. The Losers delivers on both of those counts as far as I am concerned. While director Sylvain White is certainly not known for big action/adventure films, he certainly knows how to pull one off. The action it just over the top enough as to not get full of itself and over take the entire film but it is also far from subtle.

As for the comedy, it is everything you would hope. Those who have read the comic (or just seen the trailer) know that most of the films laughs come from the character Jensen played by Chris Evans. Just like the comics, he provides the mellow cool guy attitude that the team needs to keep from going over the edge. Evans is by far the best part of the film but he is not alone in the comedy game. The film’s villain, Max, played by Jason Patric is the biggest douche bag to walk the planet but you can’t help but sit back and watch him to his thing. He is so over the top it just makes you laugh, a perfect villain for the rag tag bunch.

As for the rest of the team, they certainly deliver when necessary. The team leader Clay, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan is exactly what you would want him to be, a do anything to get the job done kind of guy with a bit of a soft side. The same goes for the team’s family man Pooch, played by Columbus Short (who previously worked with White on Stomp the Yard). Though his soft side is far from subtle he still gets the job done, and has some of the best lines throughout the film. The team’s resident bad-ass, Roque played by Idrissa Elba is definitely the most one note character of the bunch, but still fun to watch regardless. As for the teams high flying, sniper wielding, hat wearing, Cougar played by Óscar Jaenada, there isn’t much to say. Unfortunately his character doesn’t get much time to shine beyond the great action sequences (which he excels at). Of course I can’t leave out the films smoking hot female lead Aisha played by Zoe Saldana. Just like Star Trek and Avatar, she is not a girl you want to screw with, another one of the great parts of the movie.

As much as I would love to sit here and praise this movie from start to finish there definitely are some huge gaps in logic and story that are hard to ignore. I won’t say what they are, as to avoid any spoilers but I will say that they do bring the movie down a bit. Luckily because of the films extremely fast pace – mostly due to its ninety minute run time – you don’t notice it too much.

Over all, The Losers is a silly action packed thrill ride, a perfect way to bring the spring movie season to a close. If you are looking for a much needed break from all forms of reality than this is absolutely your movie. If you are looking for a way to spend a date night, this is your movie. If you are looking to do, well, anything, this is your movie to enjoy.

8.5/10

Kick-Ass is a violent, bloody, vulgar, morally reprehensible film, and that’s why it works. While far from a strict adaptation of the beloved comic, it certainly pays its respects. From the Adam West impersonating Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) and vast swear word vocabulary of Hit Girl (Chloë Moretz), to the awkward neediness of Kick-Ass (Aaron Johnson) and the silliness of Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse).

For those uninitiated with the comics the plot is simple. Dave Lizewski is an ordinary teenager with ordinary problems. But that’s all he is, ordinary. He wishes to be more, something bigger, something better. And with that (and his love of comics) Kick-Ass is born. I don’t want to say more than that because the plot is very enjoyable as it unravels.

All the main characters of this film are spot on. Johnson brings everything he has to the table and it shows, a very likeable amateur superhero that you just don’t want to see get hurt. But, you love when he does. His version of David tries so hard to be a cocky bastard when he wears the suit, but instead he just comes off as nerdy. The films poster boy Nicolas Cage is also brilliant. Like last year’s Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call: New Orleans, this is what happens when Cage is purposely over acting in the right type of role. His Adam West impression is spot on and his mannerisms are downright funny. There isn’t much to say about Mintz-Plasse’s Red Mist. The character is basically McLovin with a gun. The real star of this movie is of course Moretz as Hit Girl. She steals EVERY SINGLE scene she is in, and it’s wonderful. Nothing beats watching an adorable 10 year old beat holy hell out of drug deals and mobsters. I have a strong feeling that she is going to become the Dakota Fanning of this decade.

Unfortunately the side characters don’t get the same kind of amazing treatment the main cast does. In the comics, David’s friends serve a much larger purpose throughout the story as he tries to balance his real life with his Kick-Ass life. Much of the witty banter that occurs in the books between David and his friends is stripped out so we get as much time with David as possible. The same can be said for David’s dad. He is a key character in everything David does in the books because he is always thinking about what his father might say. So much of that is lost in the film adaptation. In all honesty, if the father had zero screen he wouldn’t have been missed.

Luckily, the direction of the film partially makes up for the 1 note side characters. Matthew Vaughn brings everything he has to this movie. The film is amazingly stylized like a comic book (and unlike HULK this time it works) and there is plenty of charm sprinkled throughout. I highly doubt the actors came up with all their amazing personalities by themselves. Vaughn clearly has a hand is many of them, especially Mintz. The cinematography is spot on, the music is memorable, the costumes are vibrant, and the set design is just plain cool. Vaughn definitely knows what he’s doing.

Overall, Kick-Ass is a rocking good time. The first two acts are pretty cool and the third is downright genius. There will be a few moments where you’ll be bored but those moments will go by quickly. Just remember one thing. Even though this is a masked superhero movie it does not mean it is kid friendly. It is rated R for a reason. Keep that in mind and you will have made a very wise ticket purchase.

8/10